Ask Timmy: Volume 2

Question #2 ( From Ciera): Your blog picture at the top, what happened to piss you off so bad?

Answer: I actually get asked this a lot, probably the #2 question behind “Why do you hate everything?”. Honestly, I have no idea….but I can take a pretty good educated guess based on the fact I’ve barely changed at all in 25 years (except getting fatter). First off, I only enjoy Christmas (and it’s clearly an xmas pic if you see the blown up one on the FB page) for the first hour of the day…when I’m getting free shit. After that I have to spend the WHOLE DAY with my family and NOT with my new shit. That bothers me to no end. When I get something new, I NEED to try it out immediately or I get all pissy and spastic. When I was a kid my dad would always take me to Blockbuster to rent a game and THEN to Shop Rite for like 2 hours. I would literally freak the fuck out about it. I have no patience. There were numerous times he kicked me out of the car and made me walk home as punishment…it never caught on. When I want to do something, I NEED to do it NOW. Also, I used to HATE dressing up. Now I actually enjoy it, because it helps cover up for the fact I am not good looking at all. I was essentially being molested the last time I wore a suit because Timmy knows fashion….and by knows fashion, I mean knows girls who pick out suits/ties for me. But back in the day, I would kick and scream if I was in anything other than basketball shorts and a t shirt. Finally, the third and final answer to the mystery: I fucking HATE having my picture taken. Even when I think I look good, it never comes across that way in pictures. I always look sweaty and fatter than I actually am, which is saying a lot. Plus I hate smiling, and being told what to do. So telling me to smile is pretty painful. So there’s your answer: I was being kept away from either power rangers or video games, forced to spend time with my family (who I love, but I can’t sit around with ANYONE sober without getting bored and antsy), dressed up in what looks like a sweater only Rev Run could pull off, and being photographed while doing so. It was kind of like “The Perfect Storm”, except I guarantee I was a better looking kid than George Clooney.